Why I Teach This Work

The truth is, I teach tantra because I lived the disconnection. I was the woman who couldn't feel.

For years, I was completely disconnected from my body. I couldn't feel pleasure without fantasy—it was my only pathway. I'd get off, sometimes up to 10 times a day, rushing to the finish line, using my mind instead of my body. When I tried to just feel without the fantasy, there was nothing. Just numbness.

I experienced pain during intercourse and a loss of sensation that I didn't even realise was there until I started this work. My body was armoured—holding years of disconnection, performing instead of feeling, moments I'd dissociated through.

The Awakening

Then someone showed me what my body was capable of. Touched me for hours with complete presence. Built anticipation until I couldn't think. Showed me continuous orgasmic states, psychedelic experiences through embodiment, pleasure I didn't know existed.

For the first time, I wasn't numb. I wasn't performing. I was fully, devastatingly alive.

But I wasn't ready. I couldn't hold that much aliveness, that much vulnerability. My nervous system didn't have the capacity yet. So I let him go. And within months, I was back in the old patterns—fantasy, rushing, disconnection. Like it never happened.

Except my body remembered.

The Search

I spent years searching for that feeling again. Kink. Sex parties. Different partners. Always looking externally. But it was never in the experiences or the people. It was in the presence. In being fully embodied. And I'd been running from that, searching everywhere else for what was only ever going to be found inside myself.

I chose wrong twice after that. The second one cheated—with anyone and anything. My body knew before I had proof, but I'd stopped trusting my intuition. I let him convince me I was paranoid, that my knowing was wrong. I stayed far longer than I should have because I'd learned not to trust what my body was telling me.

The Missing Piece

I tried everything to heal. Tantra. Shadow work. Somatic practises. Erotic Blueprints. And they all helped—I had profound breakthroughs with incredible teachers in beautiful communities.

But I was still gripped by the fantasy. They were talking about it, teaching about it even, but the tools I had at the time didn't work. That specific thing—the grip of fantasy, the shame around it, the disconnection that kept me numb—wouldn't shift.

So I started weaving everything I'd learnt together until something emerged that actually worked for the thing the other approaches hadn't been able to touch in me.

The Reclaiming

I had to learn to give myself what I thought only someone else could give me. To touch myself the way he touched me. To build my capacity to hold that much pleasure, that much aliveness. To reclaim my intuition and trust my body again.

I learnt that my fantasies weren't something to be ashamed of—they were trying to show me what my body was craving to feel. When I learnt to decode them, everything changed.

Why This Matters

Now I teach what I had to learn the hard way. Not from theory, but from surviving. From being the woman who was completely disconnected and finding my way back into my body.

Embodiment isn't just about pleasure—it's about trust, intuition, knowing when something's off, knowing when to stay and when to go. It's protection. It's power. It's coming home to yourself.

If you're reading this and recognising yourself—the numbness, the fantasy dependency, the pain, the dissociation, the staying when your body knew to leave—I see you. I was you. And there is a way back.

Curious about what sessions actually look like?

Want to work together?

Get in touch, and we'll figure out what makes sense.